The Humor of an Evening Drive

Driving has always been my escape. I love nothing more than to get in my car and cruise around town with no destination in mind. As I drive, listening to my music, occasionally singing along I am given a chance to ponder my life and the direction it is heading. Some days I drive to escape the boring confines of my apartment, and other days I have real issues to contemplate. Today was the latter. As the gas gauge slowly dropped, I thought about my future and what lie ahead for me. Lately I have been plagued with a sense of insecurity in my decisions about my education and future career. Thankfully yesterday I had a chance to discuss my problems with my former English teacher, mentor, and friend. She advised me to explore the world of nonfiction writing, and I am very excited at the prospect of writing for a living. I know it will be difficult, but I think I am up for the challenge. For now, I am going to stick with my plans to go to culinary school this fall, but I will definitely keep writing a priority in my mind.
Anyway, back to my drive through Springfield today. As I continued to drive, passing several businesses along the way, I saw a sign that caught my attention. It read “Ink Slingers: Home of the $35.00 tattoo.” Well, I am not a tattoo artist by any means, but to me any tattoo shop that advertises a cheap tattoo is not one worth going to. Tattoos are on your body for life, so I would think bargain shopping is not the objective. But who am I to talk? After all, my wrist tattoo was only $32.00 after tax. But I guess you have to keep in mind that I got my tattoo in Mountain Home, Arkansas rather than Springfield, Missouri. Everything is more expensive in Springfield.
Driving further down the road, I saw another sign that caught my eye. This time it was a billboard. It showed a picture a young girl smiling with a glass of chocolate milk in her hand. Under her the sign read, “Chocolate Milk: The official sport drink.” Just the thought made me want to puke. Take a moment and think about it. You are a sports star, gearing up for your next fierce competition. You are trying to get pumped for the game, so you grab a drink from the refrigerator that is sure to hydrate you. What do you envision grabbing? Is it a Gatorade or possibly a PowerAde, both of which have been proven to provide you with the electrolytes necessary to give you the energy to win? That’s what I would envision, but no, according to this billboard, the magical drink you are reaching for is chocolate milk. Just the thought of drinking a cup of chocolate milk before rigorous physical activity makes me want to hurl. I would think that anyone drinking milk before a race would be caught thinking the famous words of Will Farrell in Anchorman, “Milk was a bad choice.” But maybe that’s just me.

So with that final sickening thought of milky bliss, I ceased my evening drive. I ended my drive without figuring out what I want to do with my life, but I did get a chance to breathe. I had a chance to escape my life and look at it from an outsider’s perspective, and I had a chance to enjoy some humorous sights along the way.