Saturday, March 14, 2009

Wow...

I can't believe it has been almost a month since I have last written on my blog. Time flys when you are busy with school, friends, and various other obligations that come up. Unfortunately though, I know this is still no excuse not to blog. Whenever I don't write, I feel as if a part of me is missing. Writing is such a part of who I am. Whether or not I am good at it is still up for debate, and honestly I really don't care. Writing is a way for me to express the many emotions and thoughts I keep locked inside of me. Sometimes I just write about happy experiences that make me laugh. Other times I take a more serious route. Either way, writing is like air for me and without air, we die.

So here I am once again writing. I am not sure what to write about though. I feel like so much has changed, yet so much has remained the same all at the same time. I guess I could start with a brief update of my life.

What am I going to do with my life? Obviously, this is the biggest thing that is always on my mind. Well, I have finally come to the conclusion that I will make the decision when I have to. For now I will just sit back and try to enjoy the ride. I am not saying I don't still struggle with that constant voice in my mind telling me that I have to know what to do, but I am slowly learning to tune it out. I will do whatever interests me, and if it turns out to be wrong for me, so be it. I will do something else. No big deal. Maybe I will be a professional student? Who knows? Is it a sense of apathy I am developing? Yes, kind of...but not really. It is true that I don't care as much as I used to, but I do still care. I am just not going to let the fear of making the wrong decision control my life anymore. I will figure it all out in time.

How is college going? Well, actually it isn't that bad. For a long time I beat myself about going to OTC and not going to Missouri State or another equivalent university, but now I realize that everything true does happen for a reason. I have met a couple friends who I know I will be friends with for a very long time. My classes this semester aren't that bad. Sure, most of them aren't fun, but they aren't hard so I'm not complaining. Plus, I have finally come to realize that I actually like going to a school that is easy for me. Having the honor's class this semester has provided me with the intellectual growth and challenge I wanted, but overall my classes are really easy for me and I make excellent grades. I am not going to complain about a 4.0 GPA. So really, OTC isn't that bad at all. It has turned out to be a good thing for me. I am glad I didn't abandon it after one semester like I had originally wanted.

What about the other friends I had up here? I let them go, and it has been one of the best things I could have done for myself. Sure I feel bad about just ditching them, but it had to be done. I am much happier now. I dreaded hanging out with them everytime they called. Now I have friends I am happy with and they are a much better influence on me. As for Rachel, we are still friends. She is getting married so she has been busy with wedding plans and work so we don't get to hang out a lot anymore. But I am still good friends with her, and I hope once the wedding is over we will have a chance to hang out more often.

Do I still think I am going crazy? Most of the time, but it's okay. Crazy people are more fun to be around, right?

Do I still want to leave? Occassionally...but I am learning to be content with where I am in life right now. Running away will not fix anything.

How's Puggy? She's good....she is sitting on my shoulder right now looking out the window at people walking by. She is officially one year old now. My little girl is growing up so fast!

Latest projects? Well, I did recently make a flame thrower. (I will have to blog about this sometime) I am also working on another secret project. I might make a potato gun today....who knows? :D

Well, I think that is the update for my life at this moment. I am going to try to blog more often. I enjoy it so much.