Wandering Eyes Are the Devil's Eyes: College Round Two

"Don't make me get buck in here. Shorty drop it to the ground like she ain't manners. Too much booty for one man to handle. When all I need is a one night scandal."

This tune which is just part of the fabulously dirty song Get Buck in Here by DJ Felli Fel was what brought me out of my sound slumber at five fifteen this morning. As I opened my eyes, I searched for my phone and quickly turned off the alarm and went back to sleep. Unfortunately, my sleep was soon to be disrupted again as the alarm went off once more fifteen minutes later. Turning off the alarm yet again, I shut my eyes, but fifteen minutes later, the alarm went off for a third time which was my cue to actually get up.

Why was I up at that ungodly hour? Because I am stupid....and I had class at seven...that's right, seven in the morning. Like I said before in a previou blog post, I must have been high when I scheduled my classes. But anyway, I dragged myself out of bed and jumped into the shower. After getting ready and having a delicious breakfast of chocolate milk and an English muffin, I was off to class.

Going outside to my car (well, it's not my car...it's my mom's, but that's a post for another day), I realized that it wasn't even daylight yet. Ugh. I should have definitely still been sleeping. But I checked my schedule, and sure enough it said 7:00am Lifetime Wellness. Joy.

When I arrived at the college, I was able to get a front row parking spot, because not everyone is as stupid as me to schedule a 7am class. I gathered my stuff and went inside to try to find the classroom. Thankfully it was not hard to find, because I was still half asleep. When I went into class, I noticed that my instructor was an older black man. All of my peers looked just as delighted to be there as I was. Once class began, the instructor went over the syllabus and what was expected of us in the coming semester. I don't remember much, because my brain wasn't really functioning at the time. Here are the few things I do remember:

You can ace every exam but still fail the class. Homework is worth more than the tests.

Wandering eyes are the devil's eyes

If you miss more than three or four days a semester, there's some bullshitting going on.

And that was the class.

Next class: Chemistry

Unfortunately, I had an hour break between Lifetime Wellness and Chemistry. An hour is not enough time to go home, but plenty of time to become bored. In that hour, I found my chemistry class and sat at a table outside the door where I started talking to some chick that was sitting there also. She seemed really nice as we talked about what classes we were taking, what professors, how many credit hours, what are majors were, etc....She seemed really smart, but I guess you have to be when you are a science major. Gag. Everything was going fine as we were talking, but something didn't seem quite right. Finally, I figured it out when she made the comment that someone looked disorganized. She was a perfectionist control freak. I mean she was nice, but she went on to say that she preferred an extremely structured environment to one of randomness and just going with the flow. Basically she was the opposite of me. I thrive on randomness, she despises it. She loves organization (I might take the time to point out that she had already printed off all of the syllabi for her classes and was reading them as we talked). I attempt to be organized, but it just doesn't work.

Anyway, after awhile it was time for my chemistry class. I said bye to the chick and went in. Chemistry should be a fun class...well, as fun as math and science can be. I like my instructor. She seems really nice, although she does have an accent which makes it a little difficult to understand her. We started going over the chapter during the class, and we even have a quiz next time. Luckily, it will be simple. I think I can handle introductory chemistry.

Finally, it was time for my last class of the day: Honors Seminar. When I made it up to the room, it was locked so I joined the group that was sitting in the hallway. We talked for awhile until Caron came to open the door. There were only seven of us, and as I looked at the group in detail, I could tell we were a very diverse group. We sat down, and Caron started talking to us. About six minutes after class officially began, one last student came in saying that she couldn't find a place to park and that she needed to quit smoking. Caron had been talking about us helping each other and she commented that we could help Jordana quit smoking. How much better can you get? An honor's class AND an addiction group therapy. Awesome!

Anyway, Caron had us introduce ourselves and tell our majors or what we were interested in. Everyone had such high goals. Pre law, engineering, physical therapy, foreign relations....then there was me. As we went around the room, it was finally my turn. I mentioned that I had recently decided that culinary arts was not for me, and I am now going to be a psychology major at MSU. Caron asked about the writing I wanted to do, and I said that I just want to do it on the side. The truth: I want nothing more than to write books about subjects I choose and travel the world doing that, but how do you tell a room full of super smart people with such high goals that right now all I want to do is take a couple of writing classes, leave college, and write. Sure psychology interests me and I could see myself being a counselor maybe ten or fifteen years down the road, but now all I want to do is leave. I want to travel and write. I don't want to be in college. I want to write books about the people I see, the places I go, the world from my perspective. But from my experience, when I tell the honest truth about what I want to do, all some people hear is undeducated bum. For awhile now, I have been very adamant about the psychology major. It sounds good and like something I should do, but when I really get thinking about it, I just want to write for now. Maybe someday I can be a counselor, but right now I don't feel like I am anywhere close to being emotionally stable enough to help someone. How do you help someone get over something you aren't over? Does that make you a hypocrite? Yes.

Maybe I am just your typical college student who feels lost, and I guarantee you 99% of the people I would tell how I feel would tell me to hang in there, that college sucks for everyone and you have to go through it to do what you really want to do. So spare me that lecture...it's been covered thoroughly. I heard it at least three separate times over Christmas break alone. What I have written is how I feel...like it or not. For now, I will continue to hang in there. I will do the work. I will do what is expected of me, and hopefully I will grow to be more okay with what I am doing. But for now, I will just simply hang in there.

Overall, it was an excellent first day of .second semester. This semester will be more work, but it should be better than my last semester. Tomorrow I have three more new classes. I am sure I will write about them as well. For now, I say goodbye, because I have to go clean. Blah.