If you know me, you know that I have really been struggling with what I want to do with my life. For a long time, I had my mind dead set on culinary arts. I was going to be a chef. Then over the summer I started to question whether that was really the career for me. I didn't pay my doubts much thought though because I hadn't even taken any culinary classes yet. "Give it a semester." That's all I heard from everyone I talked to. Well, now the semester is almost up, and I am fairly certain that I don't want to be a chef anymore.
But if not a chef, then what? This question has been haunting me for weeks. I cannot deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what to do with my life. I was really torn. On one hand, I really didn't want to be a chef anymore. On the other, after this semester, I will already be half way there towards my A.A.S. degree in culinary arts. Plus, I know I can probably get a fairly good paying job right out of college, and it could always be my back up. Despite all of these positives, the plain and simple fact is that I am not happy in the culinary arts program. Sure I love to cook, but each day I am in class it only reminds me of the fact that I don't want to cook for a living.
After days of being torn on the subject, I had a plan. I was going to get the culinary degree as a back up and then get the A.A. transfer degree at the same time so I could have all my general eds out of the way for my bachelor's no matter what I decided on. Perfect plan, right? Wrong. You see, I looked up the A.A. program and it was going to be an additional 30 credit hours besides all of the hours for my A.A.S. degree. In other words, it was an extra year at OTC. Ugh. I knew I couldn't do that.
So what do I do? I started looking at other possible careers and the one career that stuck with me was psychology. I just felt like I was being pushed in that direction. I prayed about it every night, asking God to provide me some direction. I thought about becoming a Christian counselor for teens. I still couldn't decide on anything yet though. Part of me couldn't just leave all of the culinary classes I have taken in the dust. Plus, could I really be guaranteed a job in the psychology field right after college? This question scared me too.
With all of that weighing heavily on my shoulders, I went home one weekend and ate Chinese food with my best friend. Once the meal was done, I cracked open my fortune cookie and it read, "Do not play for safety. It's the most dangerous thing in the world." I gasped as I read it. It fit me perfectly. I was viewing the culinary career as a back up, a safety net, so to speak. But the thing was, it was not making me happy. I have to do what makes me happy even if that means taking a risk.
So with the wise words of my fortune cookie still close at heart, I researched into the psychology program at Missouri State. Looking at all of the classes, it is very exciting. Plus, for the degree I would have to have a minor. I can minor in religious studies, which fits what I want to do perfectly.
I was very excited about all of my findings and revelations, but I still wasn't sure. I continued to pray every night about it. Then I realized one day that everytime I thought about the psychology path, I had a sense of peace about it that I never experienced with the culinary arts career. I am content with it.
So what is the plan now? The plan is to trust God. I am a horrible life planner. I never get it right. For now I am planning to get my A.A. transfer degree at OTC and then go on to get my bachelor's in psychology with a minor in religious studies at Missouri State. If there is one thing I have learned though, it is to not let your plans be concrete because it is almost certain that they will change. For now I will trust God to guide me and of course, continue to do whatever fortune cookies tell me to do. :D
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