Well, Christmas break has come and went. It went by too fast if you ask me. But anyway, I am once again ready to have class on Monday morning. The only difference is that this semester I will be dragging my butt out of bed at a much earlier hour. I have to be at class at 7 o'clock....every day. Ugh. Why did I bring this torture on myself? Was I high when I made my schedule? I mean, seriously, who schedules a 7 o'clock class every freaking morning?! Apparently, I do. Blah. Anyway, despite being upset by having to get up at such an ungodly hour, I am excited about the coming semester. I will be taking 18 credit hours. My classes include: Computers (blah), Lifetime Wellness (I feel the need to mention that the book for this class was specially made for OTC, so the class should be a joyous event), Abnormal Psychology (I am actually stoked about this class), Intro to Philosophy (I am excited about this one as well), Intro to Chemistry (I have to do math which will suck), and Honors (hopefully, I live up to what is expected of me). I hope this semester is more enjoyable than my last.
Tomorrow I will be traveling back to good ol' Springfield. I am ready to be back to being on my own. Being home for so long is wearing me thin. I love my family, but being here so long has served as a reminder of why I wanted to be on my own in the first place.....for the freedom. I am ready to once again have the freedom to go and come as I please, the freedom to do what I want, when I want, the freedom to not wear pants in the house (just kidding on that one).
So am I ready to go back to school? Yes. Am I ready to leave Pomona? Yes. Will I miss my family? Yes. Do I still want to drop out of school and leave the country? Yes. (I don't think that one will ever change.)
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009
Well, another year has come and gone. It seems like just yesterday we were ringing in 2008. Now here we are once again wondering what the coming year will bring. Will it bring joy or sadness? Peace or war? Love? Loss? No one knows. Only time will tell.
As I lay here typing this, I am very thankful for this time of tranquil reflection. I was supposed to hang out with one of my close friends tonight, but instead I ended up staying home to celebrate the new year with my family. It has turned out to be an okay evening.
Escaping from the living room full of crys of joy and defeat as my brother plays the wii, I lay here in the quiet environment of my room. The only sounds present are the buzzing of my overhead fan and the soft snoring of my pug. It is here that I can reflect on 2008 and all of the events that occurred.
In 2008, I got my tattoo, turned eighteen, graduated from high school, moved to Springfield, got a pug, got my second tattoo, wrote part of a book, started college, and even changed my major. 2008 was a tough year. It was a year of triumph and defeat for me. It was a year of growth and a year of change. In 2008 I saw myself at my lowest point and watched as I rose from the depths of a seemingly bottomless pit. I learned to forgive in 2008.
I was encouraged by a now former teacher and friend in January of 2008 to make a wish list of what I wanted in the coming year. Not resolutions, just wishes. I never did that for 2008 for many reasons, but now as 2009 approaches, I want to make a list, something to keep me going.
My wish list for 2009:
-Travel somewhere, anywhere
-Learn to let go
-Finish my book
-Do something that makes me happy
-Accept the fact that I cannot achieve perfection
-Stop procrastinating
-Blog more often
-Don't doubt God or myself
-Be a better daughter, student, and friend
If there is one thing I have learned in 2008, it's that everything can change in an instant. Nothing is certain or guaranteed. So for 2009, whatever it may bring, I want to live in the moment and never let an opportunity pass me by for I never know what the future will hold. So as I wave goodbye to 2008, I will try to put the past behind me and focus on a brighter future.
Happy New Year to all of my readers.....Dallas and Casey. :D
As I lay here typing this, I am very thankful for this time of tranquil reflection. I was supposed to hang out with one of my close friends tonight, but instead I ended up staying home to celebrate the new year with my family. It has turned out to be an okay evening.
Escaping from the living room full of crys of joy and defeat as my brother plays the wii, I lay here in the quiet environment of my room. The only sounds present are the buzzing of my overhead fan and the soft snoring of my pug. It is here that I can reflect on 2008 and all of the events that occurred.
In 2008, I got my tattoo, turned eighteen, graduated from high school, moved to Springfield, got a pug, got my second tattoo, wrote part of a book, started college, and even changed my major. 2008 was a tough year. It was a year of triumph and defeat for me. It was a year of growth and a year of change. In 2008 I saw myself at my lowest point and watched as I rose from the depths of a seemingly bottomless pit. I learned to forgive in 2008.
I was encouraged by a now former teacher and friend in January of 2008 to make a wish list of what I wanted in the coming year. Not resolutions, just wishes. I never did that for 2008 for many reasons, but now as 2009 approaches, I want to make a list, something to keep me going.
My wish list for 2009:
-Travel somewhere, anywhere
-Learn to let go
-Finish my book
-Do something that makes me happy
-Accept the fact that I cannot achieve perfection
-Stop procrastinating
-Blog more often
-Don't doubt God or myself
-Be a better daughter, student, and friend
If there is one thing I have learned in 2008, it's that everything can change in an instant. Nothing is certain or guaranteed. So for 2009, whatever it may bring, I want to live in the moment and never let an opportunity pass me by for I never know what the future will hold. So as I wave goodbye to 2008, I will try to put the past behind me and focus on a brighter future.
Happy New Year to all of my readers.....Dallas and Casey. :D
Monday, December 22, 2008
Yes, I know I need to blog
I am well aware of the fact that I have not blogged for a very long time. It seems like I just can't find the time to sit down and write these days. By the time I go to my room (I say room because I am at home in Pomona) I am exhausted and ready to fall asleep. I just need to set a time and actually write. My whole life goes into chaos when I don't write, and that is what I am experiencing now. I have experienced a whole range of emotions since I have been home, and I need to get them down on paper (or type them on the computer). But anyway, sometime soon I will blog again, hopefully!
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Thrill of the Hunt
Well, it's that time of year again. The Thanksgiving holiday is upon us. Yesterday millions of Americans, myself included, feasted upon turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, rolls, pumpkin pie, etc....(the list could go on forever!) But today is different. Oh yes, on Thanksgiving everyone counts their blessings and is at peace with the world. They are thankful to be alive and be in each other's company. But on the Friday after Thanksgiving, it is a completely different story.
They call it "Black Friday." A very appropriate name if I do say so myself. Yes, I know it is named "Black Friday" because it is the day that stores supposedly get out of the red and into the black on their profits. But the term "Black Friday" is appropriate for another reason as well. You see, on Black Friday all hell breaks loose. The dark side of people takes over. Once stores open, people forget their manners and all that is decent about them. Their animalistic side springs forth. They are rude, pushy, and if they get the chance, theives. Not everyone is like this, but this definitely describes the vast majority of Black Friday shoppers.
Am I like that? Do I run, push, and shove my way through? The answer: only when necessary...such as when you have waited eleven hours to get a laptop. But on a Black Friday like today when I really didn't need anything that big, I am calm and content. Actually, I love Black Friday. Some people cringe at the very idea of large crowds ravenging stores. As for myself though, I love it. I feed off that chaotic energy that radiates from the whole event. I love meeting new people, if only for a second. I love watching how crazy people get, and then how civilized they become once the sales are over and they have their treasured item. I also love the thrill of the hunt. Sure it is disappointing if you don't succeed, but at least you tried. And if you don't happen to get that one special item, life goes on and you go to the next store. The reason I don't just shop online is because of the thrill I get, the adrenaline rush of a good sale.
Five minutes before the store opens, it is almost as if a cloud of adrenaline has settled upon the crowd. Drowsiness fades as the pulse of energy throughout the crowd grows larger. People can no longer contain themselves as they wait for that holy hour of shopping to approach. They fidget, moving around more and more. They talk faster and faster with more energy and enthusiasm. Then it comes. A quick glance at a cell phone or watch tells that it is time, and before long you are able to take one step forward, then another, and another until finally you reach the pearly gates of heaven, well, grey automatic doors of retail. You step through the door, and you are greeted by a friendly employee or perhaps the disgruntled employee who is still pissed they had to get up at 3am. But it doesn't matter either way, for you have your eyes on the prize. You race down the aisles, you heart beating faster with every step. Will you make it before they are out?
Then when you finally spot that item, a ray of light from heaven above illuminates it...or maybe it is just a faulty lightbulb flickering on it...but either way, there it is. The item is right before you, but it seems so far. You see that there is only one left. You stop and look to your left, then your right. Most likely you will make eye contact with someone else, and they look at you with a look that says, "Bring it on." Immediately you turn your head toward the prize and start to walk briskly towards it. Then the other person starts to move faster and faster. You quicken your pace to keep up. Then it is as if everything goes into slow motion. You see everything, hear every sound around you, yet you are focused on that one single item. Finally, you are just a mere two feet from it. You look at the other person going for it again, and they give you a stare that says, "Back off bitch, that GPS is mine." You thrust out your arm and leap towards the item, but so do they. In just a second or two, the outcome of your whole adventure is decided. Success or failure? Do you dare look down and see if you have won? Did you make it first? As you gather the courage to finally look at the item you see that it is indeed in your hands and your hands alone. The other shopper has admitted defeat and left you to enjoy the spoils of your win. A smile creeps across your face as you pull the item toward you and finally into your cart. Victory is yours, and it tastes so sweet.
Now all you have to do is wait in line for two hours, fight horrible traffic, and try to set up the GPS using a complicated instruction manual. ; )
They call it "Black Friday." A very appropriate name if I do say so myself. Yes, I know it is named "Black Friday" because it is the day that stores supposedly get out of the red and into the black on their profits. But the term "Black Friday" is appropriate for another reason as well. You see, on Black Friday all hell breaks loose. The dark side of people takes over. Once stores open, people forget their manners and all that is decent about them. Their animalistic side springs forth. They are rude, pushy, and if they get the chance, theives. Not everyone is like this, but this definitely describes the vast majority of Black Friday shoppers.
Am I like that? Do I run, push, and shove my way through? The answer: only when necessary...such as when you have waited eleven hours to get a laptop. But on a Black Friday like today when I really didn't need anything that big, I am calm and content. Actually, I love Black Friday. Some people cringe at the very idea of large crowds ravenging stores. As for myself though, I love it. I feed off that chaotic energy that radiates from the whole event. I love meeting new people, if only for a second. I love watching how crazy people get, and then how civilized they become once the sales are over and they have their treasured item. I also love the thrill of the hunt. Sure it is disappointing if you don't succeed, but at least you tried. And if you don't happen to get that one special item, life goes on and you go to the next store. The reason I don't just shop online is because of the thrill I get, the adrenaline rush of a good sale.
Five minutes before the store opens, it is almost as if a cloud of adrenaline has settled upon the crowd. Drowsiness fades as the pulse of energy throughout the crowd grows larger. People can no longer contain themselves as they wait for that holy hour of shopping to approach. They fidget, moving around more and more. They talk faster and faster with more energy and enthusiasm. Then it comes. A quick glance at a cell phone or watch tells that it is time, and before long you are able to take one step forward, then another, and another until finally you reach the pearly gates of heaven, well, grey automatic doors of retail. You step through the door, and you are greeted by a friendly employee or perhaps the disgruntled employee who is still pissed they had to get up at 3am. But it doesn't matter either way, for you have your eyes on the prize. You race down the aisles, you heart beating faster with every step. Will you make it before they are out?
Then when you finally spot that item, a ray of light from heaven above illuminates it...or maybe it is just a faulty lightbulb flickering on it...but either way, there it is. The item is right before you, but it seems so far. You see that there is only one left. You stop and look to your left, then your right. Most likely you will make eye contact with someone else, and they look at you with a look that says, "Bring it on." Immediately you turn your head toward the prize and start to walk briskly towards it. Then the other person starts to move faster and faster. You quicken your pace to keep up. Then it is as if everything goes into slow motion. You see everything, hear every sound around you, yet you are focused on that one single item. Finally, you are just a mere two feet from it. You look at the other person going for it again, and they give you a stare that says, "Back off bitch, that GPS is mine." You thrust out your arm and leap towards the item, but so do they. In just a second or two, the outcome of your whole adventure is decided. Success or failure? Do you dare look down and see if you have won? Did you make it first? As you gather the courage to finally look at the item you see that it is indeed in your hands and your hands alone. The other shopper has admitted defeat and left you to enjoy the spoils of your win. A smile creeps across your face as you pull the item toward you and finally into your cart. Victory is yours, and it tastes so sweet.
Now all you have to do is wait in line for two hours, fight horrible traffic, and try to set up the GPS using a complicated instruction manual. ; )
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Oh Yes, I Do Whatever the Fortune Cookie Tells Me To Do
If you know me, you know that I have really been struggling with what I want to do with my life. For a long time, I had my mind dead set on culinary arts. I was going to be a chef. Then over the summer I started to question whether that was really the career for me. I didn't pay my doubts much thought though because I hadn't even taken any culinary classes yet. "Give it a semester." That's all I heard from everyone I talked to. Well, now the semester is almost up, and I am fairly certain that I don't want to be a chef anymore.
But if not a chef, then what? This question has been haunting me for weeks. I cannot deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what to do with my life. I was really torn. On one hand, I really didn't want to be a chef anymore. On the other, after this semester, I will already be half way there towards my A.A.S. degree in culinary arts. Plus, I know I can probably get a fairly good paying job right out of college, and it could always be my back up. Despite all of these positives, the plain and simple fact is that I am not happy in the culinary arts program. Sure I love to cook, but each day I am in class it only reminds me of the fact that I don't want to cook for a living.
After days of being torn on the subject, I had a plan. I was going to get the culinary degree as a back up and then get the A.A. transfer degree at the same time so I could have all my general eds out of the way for my bachelor's no matter what I decided on. Perfect plan, right? Wrong. You see, I looked up the A.A. program and it was going to be an additional 30 credit hours besides all of the hours for my A.A.S. degree. In other words, it was an extra year at OTC. Ugh. I knew I couldn't do that.
So what do I do? I started looking at other possible careers and the one career that stuck with me was psychology. I just felt like I was being pushed in that direction. I prayed about it every night, asking God to provide me some direction. I thought about becoming a Christian counselor for teens. I still couldn't decide on anything yet though. Part of me couldn't just leave all of the culinary classes I have taken in the dust. Plus, could I really be guaranteed a job in the psychology field right after college? This question scared me too.
With all of that weighing heavily on my shoulders, I went home one weekend and ate Chinese food with my best friend. Once the meal was done, I cracked open my fortune cookie and it read, "Do not play for safety. It's the most dangerous thing in the world." I gasped as I read it. It fit me perfectly. I was viewing the culinary career as a back up, a safety net, so to speak. But the thing was, it was not making me happy. I have to do what makes me happy even if that means taking a risk.
So with the wise words of my fortune cookie still close at heart, I researched into the psychology program at Missouri State. Looking at all of the classes, it is very exciting. Plus, for the degree I would have to have a minor. I can minor in religious studies, which fits what I want to do perfectly.
I was very excited about all of my findings and revelations, but I still wasn't sure. I continued to pray every night about it. Then I realized one day that everytime I thought about the psychology path, I had a sense of peace about it that I never experienced with the culinary arts career. I am content with it.
So what is the plan now? The plan is to trust God. I am a horrible life planner. I never get it right. For now I am planning to get my A.A. transfer degree at OTC and then go on to get my bachelor's in psychology with a minor in religious studies at Missouri State. If there is one thing I have learned though, it is to not let your plans be concrete because it is almost certain that they will change. For now I will trust God to guide me and of course, continue to do whatever fortune cookies tell me to do. :D
But if not a chef, then what? This question has been haunting me for weeks. I cannot deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what to do with my life. I was really torn. On one hand, I really didn't want to be a chef anymore. On the other, after this semester, I will already be half way there towards my A.A.S. degree in culinary arts. Plus, I know I can probably get a fairly good paying job right out of college, and it could always be my back up. Despite all of these positives, the plain and simple fact is that I am not happy in the culinary arts program. Sure I love to cook, but each day I am in class it only reminds me of the fact that I don't want to cook for a living.
After days of being torn on the subject, I had a plan. I was going to get the culinary degree as a back up and then get the A.A. transfer degree at the same time so I could have all my general eds out of the way for my bachelor's no matter what I decided on. Perfect plan, right? Wrong. You see, I looked up the A.A. program and it was going to be an additional 30 credit hours besides all of the hours for my A.A.S. degree. In other words, it was an extra year at OTC. Ugh. I knew I couldn't do that.
So what do I do? I started looking at other possible careers and the one career that stuck with me was psychology. I just felt like I was being pushed in that direction. I prayed about it every night, asking God to provide me some direction. I thought about becoming a Christian counselor for teens. I still couldn't decide on anything yet though. Part of me couldn't just leave all of the culinary classes I have taken in the dust. Plus, could I really be guaranteed a job in the psychology field right after college? This question scared me too.
With all of that weighing heavily on my shoulders, I went home one weekend and ate Chinese food with my best friend. Once the meal was done, I cracked open my fortune cookie and it read, "Do not play for safety. It's the most dangerous thing in the world." I gasped as I read it. It fit me perfectly. I was viewing the culinary career as a back up, a safety net, so to speak. But the thing was, it was not making me happy. I have to do what makes me happy even if that means taking a risk.
So with the wise words of my fortune cookie still close at heart, I researched into the psychology program at Missouri State. Looking at all of the classes, it is very exciting. Plus, for the degree I would have to have a minor. I can minor in religious studies, which fits what I want to do perfectly.
I was very excited about all of my findings and revelations, but I still wasn't sure. I continued to pray every night about it. Then I realized one day that everytime I thought about the psychology path, I had a sense of peace about it that I never experienced with the culinary arts career. I am content with it.
So what is the plan now? The plan is to trust God. I am a horrible life planner. I never get it right. For now I am planning to get my A.A. transfer degree at OTC and then go on to get my bachelor's in psychology with a minor in religious studies at Missouri State. If there is one thing I have learned though, it is to not let your plans be concrete because it is almost certain that they will change. For now I will trust God to guide me and of course, continue to do whatever fortune cookies tell me to do. :D
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
One in the Morning Fun
So tonight I hung out with a couple of my friends, and we watched The Exorsist. Don't ask me how they got me to watch it. I HATE scary movies. I can literally count the number of scary movies I have seen in my lifetime on one hand. But anyway, after being freaked out, scared, and spending most of the movie hiding my face behind a pillow, I was ready to go home. My friend Katie had brought me to Daymon's house so I had to rely on her for a ride home. Well, she basically passed out and fell asleep. Thankfully, Daymon offered to take me home.
After telling Daymon bye, I went inside my house and was greeted by my psycho puppy. Not long after sitting my stuff down, I decided that I needed a drink (not alcoholic). So I jumped in my car and drove to the Kum and Go just down the street even though it was one in the morning. I went inside and paid for my Dr. Pepper.
When I left the store, I saw a guy probably around thirty to thirty five years old scratching lottery tickets against the propane tank cage. He was kind of creepy. I had to walk past him to get to my car so I just walked off of the sidewalk and went directly towards my car. Well as I passed him, he asked how I was. I told him I was fine and asked if he was having a good night. He said that it was going okay and I made the comment that it would probably be a lot better if he won. He chuckled at my statement as I started to get in my car.
Then he surprised me. He asked if I was single. I panicked, but within a second came to my senses and said that I wasn't single at the moment. He looked disappointed as I got into my car and told him to have a good night. After that fun conversation, I went home and drank my soda happily.
One in the morning is definitely an interesting time in Springfield. Surely God will forgive me for that lie. Being asked out by a creepy man who was probably twice my age at one in the morning outside of a gas station is not my idea of romance!
After telling Daymon bye, I went inside my house and was greeted by my psycho puppy. Not long after sitting my stuff down, I decided that I needed a drink (not alcoholic). So I jumped in my car and drove to the Kum and Go just down the street even though it was one in the morning. I went inside and paid for my Dr. Pepper.
When I left the store, I saw a guy probably around thirty to thirty five years old scratching lottery tickets against the propane tank cage. He was kind of creepy. I had to walk past him to get to my car so I just walked off of the sidewalk and went directly towards my car. Well as I passed him, he asked how I was. I told him I was fine and asked if he was having a good night. He said that it was going okay and I made the comment that it would probably be a lot better if he won. He chuckled at my statement as I started to get in my car.
Then he surprised me. He asked if I was single. I panicked, but within a second came to my senses and said that I wasn't single at the moment. He looked disappointed as I got into my car and told him to have a good night. After that fun conversation, I went home and drank my soda happily.
One in the morning is definitely an interesting time in Springfield. Surely God will forgive me for that lie. Being asked out by a creepy man who was probably twice my age at one in the morning outside of a gas station is not my idea of romance!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
A McCain Campaign, Hotdog, and a Pot Head
This year for Halloween I went home to Willow Springs to take Puggy trick or treating. I know I am in college, but I just can't pass up the opportunity to dress up in a costume! It is so much fun! I decided that for Halloween I was going to be a pot head. Okay, so I wasn't the type of pot head that comes to mind. I wasn't the pot head who was high off marijuana. Instead, I was a different type of pot head. I was Johnny Appleseed.
To pull off this fabulous costume, I went to Munch in Willow to find the perfect attire. I decided to get a plaid shirt and suspenders. When I got to my house, I cut up a pair of my jeans and the shirt I had bought at Munch. When I put on the pants and shirt along with the suspenders and some boots, I looked pretty good, but not complete. What completed the look was the kitchen pot I wore on my head. To finish off the outfit, I made a bag of "seeds" and tied it to my waist. I was fit to go.
When I got to Willow Springs, I stopped by my grandma's house to eat supper. While there, I got Puggy ready to go trick or treating by putting on her adorable hotdog costume. After leaving my grandma's, I went to get Amber. I was kind of disappointed she didn't wear a costume, but she did get decked out in her McCain and Palin stuff so it was okay. She had also made flyers in support of McCain to hand out along the way. She was on a mission to get the whole town to vote for John McCain. I was on a mission to get candy.
We spent the rest of the night traveling from house to house handing out flyers. I only ended up with like five pieces of candy. Apparently people are reluctant to give college age kids any candy. : ( Everyone did comment on how cute Puggy was though, and we did get the word out about McCain, so it was all worth it in the end. Overall, it was a good Halloween, and I am glad I got to spend it back home with the people I love! : )
To pull off this fabulous costume, I went to Munch in Willow to find the perfect attire. I decided to get a plaid shirt and suspenders. When I got to my house, I cut up a pair of my jeans and the shirt I had bought at Munch. When I put on the pants and shirt along with the suspenders and some boots, I looked pretty good, but not complete. What completed the look was the kitchen pot I wore on my head. To finish off the outfit, I made a bag of "seeds" and tied it to my waist. I was fit to go.
When I got to Willow Springs, I stopped by my grandma's house to eat supper. While there, I got Puggy ready to go trick or treating by putting on her adorable hotdog costume. After leaving my grandma's, I went to get Amber. I was kind of disappointed she didn't wear a costume, but she did get decked out in her McCain and Palin stuff so it was okay. She had also made flyers in support of McCain to hand out along the way. She was on a mission to get the whole town to vote for John McCain. I was on a mission to get candy.
We spent the rest of the night traveling from house to house handing out flyers. I only ended up with like five pieces of candy. Apparently people are reluctant to give college age kids any candy. : ( Everyone did comment on how cute Puggy was though, and we did get the word out about McCain, so it was all worth it in the end. Overall, it was a good Halloween, and I am glad I got to spend it back home with the people I love! : )
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