Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009

Well, another year has come and gone. It seems like just yesterday we were ringing in 2008. Now here we are once again wondering what the coming year will bring. Will it bring joy or sadness? Peace or war? Love? Loss? No one knows. Only time will tell.

As I lay here typing this, I am very thankful for this time of tranquil reflection. I was supposed to hang out with one of my close friends tonight, but instead I ended up staying home to celebrate the new year with my family. It has turned out to be an okay evening.

Escaping from the living room full of crys of joy and defeat as my brother plays the wii, I lay here in the quiet environment of my room. The only sounds present are the buzzing of my overhead fan and the soft snoring of my pug. It is here that I can reflect on 2008 and all of the events that occurred.

In 2008, I got my tattoo, turned eighteen, graduated from high school, moved to Springfield, got a pug, got my second tattoo, wrote part of a book, started college, and even changed my major. 2008 was a tough year. It was a year of triumph and defeat for me. It was a year of growth and a year of change. In 2008 I saw myself at my lowest point and watched as I rose from the depths of a seemingly bottomless pit. I learned to forgive in 2008.

I was encouraged by a now former teacher and friend in January of 2008 to make a wish list of what I wanted in the coming year. Not resolutions, just wishes. I never did that for 2008 for many reasons, but now as 2009 approaches, I want to make a list, something to keep me going.

My wish list for 2009:
-Travel somewhere, anywhere
-Learn to let go
-Finish my book
-Do something that makes me happy
-Accept the fact that I cannot achieve perfection
-Stop procrastinating
-Blog more often
-Don't doubt God or myself
-Be a better daughter, student, and friend

If there is one thing I have learned in 2008, it's that everything can change in an instant. Nothing is certain or guaranteed. So for 2009, whatever it may bring, I want to live in the moment and never let an opportunity pass me by for I never know what the future will hold. So as I wave goodbye to 2008, I will try to put the past behind me and focus on a brighter future.

Happy New Year to all of my readers.....Dallas and Casey. :D

Oh Yes, I Do Whatever the Fortune Cookie Tells Me To Do

If you know me, you know that I have really been struggling with what I want to do with my life. For a long time, I had my mind dead set on culinary arts. I was going to be a chef. Then over the summer I started to question whether that was really the career for me. I didn't pay my doubts much thought though because I hadn't even taken any culinary classes yet. "Give it a semester." That's all I heard from everyone I talked to. Well, now the semester is almost up, and I am fairly certain that I don't want to be a chef anymore.

But if not a chef, then what? This question has been haunting me for weeks. I cannot deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what to do with my life. I was really torn. On one hand, I really didn't want to be a chef anymore. On the other, after this semester, I will already be half way there towards my A.A.S. degree in culinary arts. Plus, I know I can probably get a fairly good paying job right out of college, and it could always be my back up. Despite all of these positives, the plain and simple fact is that I am not happy in the culinary arts program. Sure I love to cook, but each day I am in class it only reminds me of the fact that I don't want to cook for a living.

After days of being torn on the subject, I had a plan. I was going to get the culinary degree as a back up and then get the A.A. transfer degree at the same time so I could have all my general eds out of the way for my bachelor's no matter what I decided on. Perfect plan, right? Wrong. You see, I looked up the A.A. program and it was going to be an additional 30 credit hours besides all of the hours for my A.A.S. degree. In other words, it was an extra year at OTC. Ugh. I knew I couldn't do that.

So what do I do? I started looking at other possible careers and the one career that stuck with me was psychology. I just felt like I was being pushed in that direction. I prayed about it every night, asking God to provide me some direction. I thought about becoming a Christian counselor for teens. I still couldn't decide on anything yet though. Part of me couldn't just leave all of the culinary classes I have taken in the dust. Plus, could I really be guaranteed a job in the psychology field right after college? This question scared me too.

With all of that weighing heavily on my shoulders, I went home one weekend and ate Chinese food with my best friend. Once the meal was done, I cracked open my fortune cookie and it read, "Do not play for safety. It's the most dangerous thing in the world." I gasped as I read it. It fit me perfectly. I was viewing the culinary career as a back up, a safety net, so to speak. But the thing was, it was not making me happy. I have to do what makes me happy even if that means taking a risk.

So with the wise words of my fortune cookie still close at heart, I researched into the psychology program at Missouri State. Looking at all of the classes, it is very exciting. Plus, for the degree I would have to have a minor. I can minor in religious studies, which fits what I want to do perfectly.

I was very excited about all of my findings and revelations, but I still wasn't sure. I continued to pray every night about it. Then I realized one day that everytime I thought about the psychology path, I had a sense of peace about it that I never experienced with the culinary arts career. I am content with it.

So what is the plan now? The plan is to trust God. I am a horrible life planner. I never get it right. For now I am planning to get my A.A. transfer degree at OTC and then go on to get my bachelor's in psychology with a minor in religious studies at Missouri State. If there is one thing I have learned though, it is to not let your plans be concrete because it is almost certain that they will change. For now I will trust God to guide me and of course, continue to do whatever fortune cookies tell me to do. :D

A nice warm hoodie and a cup of hot chocolate...

Days like today are my favorite. The late summer days when it is cooler outside, truly showing that fall is just around the corner. The days where you can sit outside in the morning with a cup of hot chocolate in a warm hoodie. It's not too hot, not too cold. It's days like these that are rejuvenating. Its days like today in which I am able to see the beauty in the wonderful creation that our planet is. It's days like today I find myself thanking God for allowing me to be here and see another glorious beginning to the fall season.

Help! Need Gas Money!

After cleaning my car today, I decided it was time to start packing for the beach. I stuffed three fourths of my clothes into a suitcase, and as I did I remembered that I didn't have any of the travel size shampoo to take along. So tonight around eight thirty, I traveled to Target to pick up this much needed item. After getting the shampoo and getting into my car, I traveled out of the parking lot and onto the road where I was forced to wait out a red light. I was just leaning back listening to my music, when I noticed a woman standing at the corner of the intersection. She was probably in her mid forties, wore simple shorts and a t-shirt, and was on her cell phone. But when I looked closer, I noticed she was holding a sign. The sign read, "Help! Need Gas Money!" I knew I didn't have any cash on me or I probably would have given her a couple dollars.

As I sat there though, I couldn't help but be skeptical of the whole situation. Here this woman was standing on the corner of the road with no parked car even remotely near her, and she was on her cell phone. From her facial expressions, it didn't look like she was in hysterics. In fact, it looked like she was actually enjoying the conversation. Also, doesn't everyone have a debit card these days? I would think if you owned a car, you would definitely carry one. Plus, why didn't she just walk to the nearest store or gas station to see if someone could help her? Instead she was standing on the street corner in a dimly lit area. But then again, it was close to nine o'clock at night, and she certainly didn't look like a con artist. Even though I was skeptical, I probably would have given her some cash if I had had any.

As I drove off, I thought more and more about the lady. What was her life story? What got her to the point where she was standing on the corner of the streeet asking people for money? She looked like your average middle aged woman. Did she recently lose her job and was barely scraping by on what little funds she could save? Was she just passing through Springfield and simply ran out of gas...and cash? I will never know what her story is, but I will make sure to mention her in my prayers tonight and ask God to bless her and help her in her time of need.

A Little Bit About Me...

The name is Jordan, but you can call me Helga. Actually, I would prefer if you just called me Jordan or Chili, that's also acceptable. And no, contrary to popular belief I did not start the popular restaurant chain, although I do aspire to be a chef...or writer...or maybe even a food writer. : ) I am not quite sure what I want to do at this point in my life. I recently moved to Springfield, and I have the best roommate in the world! She is very small and hyperactive, but has a personality very similar to me! She has no attention span, but is easily amused. Her favorite activity is chewing up things, especially the carpet and my shoes. She is adorable, especially when she snores while sleeping! Her name is Pugahantus, but you can call her Puggy. I love her with all my heart! I love God with all my heart too! If you haven't heard, He is pretty awesome! I wouldn't be where I am today without Him. He is not only my savior, but my best friend. I also love fire...something about it really fascinates me. I have been asked on several occassions if I am a smoker, but if you know me, you know I just like playing with lighters and happen to own a lot of them. Storm chasing is also a passion of mine. When I was little, I hated storms. Now if I hear of a tornado warning, I am out with my camera chasing it. Usually, I just end up in the middle of the storm, but I love it. I don't like fake people (by this statement I don't mean fake people as in mannequins, I actually quite like them...but not in a creepy way). I don't like liars....although I may tell the occassional fib. I don't like wearing dresses, I tend to be more of a tom boy and have been my entire life, although I don't mind dressing up to go clubbing. I love jumping into creeks in the middle of March, and I love the smell of grass that has just been mowed. I don't like brussel sprouts, but energy drinks rank up there on my favorites list. I am not an angry person, although I can get annoyed just like anyone else. I tend to have a very addictive personality. I am a huge fan of Hell's Kitchen, and I am not afraid to admit that I still love NSYNC. I have a lot of friends, and they mean the world to me. I love my family as well. In conclusion, I am a fun loving person who can be extremely random. Flamingo.